it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
