So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
