i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
