I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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