Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
