Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
