You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
