The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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