these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
