i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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