I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
