I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
