now i know why i became what i already was.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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