I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
