Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
