Cold hands, warm shart.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
so much tequila, so little girl.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
