i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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