you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
