At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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