Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
