P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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