he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
