She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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