I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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