there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
