I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
