We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
