It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
