I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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