Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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