kristin has been a bad kristin
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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