we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
