Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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