Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't deserve a penis
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
