Why are handjobs necessary in class?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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