Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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