if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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