Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Come on in and take your pants off
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