I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
