I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
