i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
