So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
