I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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