Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
