I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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