I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's just like the Real World with babies
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
