i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
