I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
