I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
