I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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