I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
